you gotta do the work

For the duration of my Mono-Month I basically became a hermit.  I didn't have the energy in my stretchy-pants-no-moving-state to even formulate replies to texts.

Bestie and Babydoll checked in on me one day and I looked at the text and then promptly forgot to reply for so long they started using the SHOUTY CAPS to demand replies to ensure I wasn't dead.  I'm pretty sure they even threatened to call my Mama if I didn't respond.

During that month, I didn't even really realize that I was ignoring everybody- all nonessential Caitlin-functions had been temporarily suspended.

Looking back now though, it's clear to me that I didn't even have the energy to deal with "the feels."  Talking to other humans would have required me to use higher thought processes and those weren't really functioning at that moment.

Relationships- whether they be with your Mama, your bestie, your partner, or even your mailman- and the feels that go along with them are hard work.  They're often rewarding, and totally worth it in the long run, but nevertheless, they're hard work.  This emotional work is demanding, it takes energy and is real work.

All too often we don't acknowledge this work or the toll it can take on us.  We don't place value on this work, even when we should.  And I think maybe not realizing how important emotional work is can really damage our relationships in the long run.  We end up neglecting those we love or feeling neglected and nobody likes either of those options.

So, to those of you I neglected during Mono-Month- Bestie, Babydoll, Freebird, L, my Jameses- I'm back and I'm ready to do the work.

And, if you've been putting in the work and dealing with the feels, give yourself a break, a pat on the back, some mental kudos.

You deserve it.


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