things I'm bad at

Things at which I am Bad*

(Listed in no particular order)


1. Not ending sentences with prepositions
2. Getting the dirty kleenexes to the trash
3. Going left when the navigator says left
4. Differentiating heart murmurs
5. Reading things I don't want to read
6. Remembering what authochthonous means, even though I've looked it up FOUR times now
7. Putting myself out there
8. Not swearing
9. Texting you back
10. Change
11. Following the recipe
12. Getting song lyrics correct
13. Remembering HJNTIM
14. Higher maths
15. Sometimes basic maths
16.  Liminal Periods

What's a liminal period you say?  Hell, even spell-check is currently saying that.  Spell-check has suggested I might mean "nominal, "criminal," or "imaginal" instead.  No, thanks spell-check, I do, in fact, mean liminal.

A long time ago, in some mostly forgotten cobwebby portion, of my liberal arts education I learned about liminal periods.  They were described to me as periods of time in transition, when a person doesn't belong to any particular group.  But more than that, I have a particular memory of this liberal arts professor -Anthropologist?  Psychologist?  Sociologist?- likening these time periods to transition zones in nature.  I think the example was something like tide pools.  Tide pools only exist in this in-between zone, a sort of no-man's-land for permanence.  In a tide pool everything is in transition.  Everything is in flux.  Everything in a tide pool should belong to the sea and everything in a tide pool should belong to the land, but for a fleeting moment of time everything in a tide pool belongs neither completely to the sea nor completely to the land.

One of the key things I remember about these liminal periods was the sense of discomfort that was supposed to accompany them.  This wasn't a period of time that people were supposed to enjoy.  These transitional periods, they were painful in the way that all true growth is painful.  And the only way to deal with this painfulness was to move forward, to get out of the damn transition zone and go.

This theory of liminal periods really resonated with me and stuck with me all this time.  And in times like these, times like now, when I feel absolutely positively lost, I look around and I realize this is a goddamned liminal period.

And I already established I'M BAD AT LIMINAL PERIODS.

I AM NOT A TIDE POOL.

I WANT TO CHOOSE.

LAND OR SEA!

LAND!

SEA!

SEA!

LAND!

Whichever way is the way forward- that's the way I want to go.  That's the way everyone wants to go.  And that's why there's a whole goddamned body of work about liminal periods, because everyone hates them and wants out, not just me.

For now though, I guess I just keep treading water in this damn tide pool hoping for land or sea.


*This is not a complete list ;)

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