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Showing posts from January, 2017

Bad Words

When I was a kid, you never said you were bored.  Bad things would happen if you declared boredom.  Saying you were bored was a mistake you only made once.  When I did it I was probably 10 or 11, it was the middle of the summer and I was whining.  I turned to my Mama and drawled out "I'm booooooooooorrrrrrrreeeeeed."

And then all hell broke loose.  You'd have thought I said something terrible.

But for Mama, "bored" is terrible.  It demonstrates laziness, both physically and mentally.  That's her bottom line for human existence, if you can't at the very least entertain yourself, maybe you don't need to be here sharing oxygen with the rest of us.

To prove her seriousness and to "give me something to do" she made me clean all the outside windows.  With newspaper and vinegar, dragging the ladder behind myself so I could reach them all.  Any time somebody I know whines about being bored I still remember the smell of newspaper and vinegar…

things I'm bad at

Things at which I am Bad* (Listed in no particular order)


1. Not ending sentences with prepositions
2. Getting the dirty kleenexes to the trash
3. Going left when the navigator says left
4. Differentiating heart murmurs
5. Reading things I don't want to read
6. Remembering what authochthonous means, even though I've looked it up FOUR times now
7. Putting myself out there
8. Not swearing
9. Texting you back
10. Change
11. Following the recipe
12. Getting song lyrics correct
13. Remembering HJNTIM
14. Higher maths
15. Sometimes basic maths
16.  Liminal Periods

What's a liminal period you say?  Hell, even spell-check is currently saying that.  Spell-check has suggested I might mean "nominal, "criminal," or "imaginal" instead.  No, thanks spell-check, I do, in fact, mean liminal.

A long time ago, in some mostly forgotten cobwebby portion, of my liberal arts education I learned about liminal periods.  They were described to me as periods of time in tra…