Texts from My Mama

My Mama is a fabulous lady.  She is funny and fierce and sometimes weird in the best possible way.  Since I don't live close, we text a lot to keep in touch.  Her texts are priceless.  Here I offer you some of the best.  I'd warn you that they're context free, but that's the joy of her texts in general- they're almost always context free.

Mom: You know it is just a matter of days before this melodious mockingbird turns on us and starts attacking
-Apr 19 1:56 PM



...




Mom: That will make Whitney happy
-Apr 11 10:47 AM

Me: Huh?
-Apr 11 12:03 PM

Mom: Your blog Whitney and jesus
-Apr 11 1:05 PM



...



Mom: Where the blank is the honey
-Apr 3 10:07 AM

Me: On the right in the pantry
-Apr 3 10:18 AM

Mom: The new one?
-Apr 3 10:19 AM

Me: As far as I know
-Apr 3 10:20 AM

Mom: Omg found it
Apr 3 5:16 PM

Me: Where was it?
Apr 3 5:44 PM

Mom: Right in front of us in pantry
Apr 3 5:44 PM



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Mom: Where oh where are you
Mar 20 3:35 PM



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Mom: I am so proud of you!  I am so lucky to be a part of your life
Feb 23 9:37 AM

Me: Uhh, thank you.  Why?
Feb 23 10:06 AM

Mom: What the blank, not used to compliments
Feb 23 10:15 AM



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Mom: Happy Valentine's day to the snow princess
Feb 14 10:07 AM



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Mom: Corbin has picked up a girl, him wearing lipstick and all
Feb 2 3:08 PM

Mom: Just kidding, can't leave auditorium for two hours, probably be wearing eyeliner soon
Feb 2 3:08 PM



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Mom: Are you wearing make-up
Jan 27 8:51 AM

Mom: Just asking if you got up everyday at five to put your make-up on
Jan 27 12:18 PM

Me: No mom, no
Jan 27 12:18 PM



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Mom: What the blank are you texting
Jan 23 7:47 PM

Me: Never mind!
Jan 23 7:48 PM

Mom: You drinking and texting?  Don't go outside!
Jan 23 7:48 PM



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Mom: Ok, you are off the list, I just found my bread maker cook book
Jan 21 6:28 AM

Me: Take the pox off me!
Jan 21 6:30 AM

Mom: Done
Jan 21 7:19 AM

Mom: Your life should get notably better
Jan 21 7:19 AM


...




Me: I'm just snow
Jan 19 11:30 AM

Mom: Are you drinking, smoking, standing in front of heater vent?
Jan 19 1:06 PM



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