The Adventures of Mini-Skirt

This is incredibly naive of me, but I like to hope that my medical school peers are in medical school for some sort of positive reason.  Maybe they don't want to save humanity, but hopefully they are at least all decent human beings who can treat their future patients with respect and dignity.  Expecting respect and dignity out of my peers is too much.  That bar is too high.  Within reach for one in particular is laziness, shocking levels of incompetence and a blatant disregard for informed consent.  This leads me to introduce you to Mini-Skirt.

Mini-Skirt earned her name when she showed up to orientation in nude colored pantyhose, ankle booties, and a mini-skirt on the day it was supposed to snowpocalypse.  So she started by setting the bar low, but hey, so you don't dress professionally- that doesn't mean you're going to be a bad doctor, right?  Don't go judging books by their covers and all that.

Unfortunately for Mini-Skirt, from what I can tell her story pretty much matches the covers of her book exactly.  The unpromising sartorial escapades have continued.  There's really no professional place that involves that much cleavage unless cleavage is your profession. 

But whatever.  Dress how you want.  It isn't hurting anyone.  Unfortunately, that can't really be said for everything else she does.

We had a patient who came to the ER because she couldn't breathe.  Turned out she had a pretty bad case of pneumonia.  No big deal.  We (me and L) talk to her, get her history, listen to her lungs, make sure she doesn't have any questions for the doctor.  Doc puts her on antibiotics and admits her.  Still, no big deal. In her history we read that she had an infectious disease that was proving to be resistant to the therapy she was on.  Still, no big deal for us because she had an infectious disease doc and was being treated for that too.  When we go on rounds with our doc, Mini-Skirt likes to interrupt him and talk really loudly to all the patients (relatively sure she thinks all old people are deaf).  While we're talking to this patient, Mini-Skirt notices that there is blood on the patient's sheets.  SHE TOUCHES THE BLOOD.  You are NEVER EVER EVER supposed to touch blood in a hospital.  That's why we have UNIVERSAL precautions.  Because you're supposed to assume EVERYTHING is infectious.  She gets all up in there and tries to find where the blood came from (a venipuncture earlier in the day, again no big deal).  And then we leave because the doc is finished talking to the patient.  She doesn't wash her hands.  She doesn't sanitize them.  She just leaves with the rest of us.

A couple of days later we revisit our pneumonia patient.  While we're talking to her, she mentions something about her infectious disease treatment treatment.  Mini-Skirt's eyes become ginormous. Her mouth drops open.  She starts whispering to herself (who knew she could whisper) "I touched her blood I touched her blood I touched her blood" over and over to herself.  She hadn't bothered to read the patient's chart or get a basic history from the patient. 

At first I just thought she was dumb and didn't care about universal precautions.  But not reading the chart?  Not talking to the patient?  That's just plain lazy.  What is she doing all day at the hospital if not talking to patients???

There are sadly probably half a dozen or so more stories I could tell you about Mini-Skirt, but I just can't.  She's too bad. 


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