Signs of Weakness

Welcome to Miami. 

Bienvenidos a Miami.

Technically, I don't live or work in actual Miami, but everyone who isn't from here seems to call pretty much everything south of Orlando "Miami."  Everyone in this so-called-Miami drives like a maniac.  Have you ever seen Grand Prix racing?  Driving here is like that except with fewer rules and way way way more rage.  The locals don't seem to signal or brake until the last moment or feel the need to obey speed limits.  The speed limit signs might as well say "speed suggestion" instead.  When I do attempt to signal or brake or obey any traffic laws people seem to be perplexed and befuddled and enraged.  They honk as though I was the one driving like a crazy person instead of obeying the laws.  Obeying the laws seems to be considered a sign of weakness and an indication for the locals to drive over you.

Just in case you were ever headed down here for any reason, I thought I'd make a list of the traffic laws no one else seems to obey so you wouldn't be considered as wimpy as I was. 

Signs of Weakness
1. Using your blinkers
2. Using your brakes
3. Driving the speed limit
4. Yielding 
5. Waiting for space to merge

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