The Chronicles of Naked Neighbor

You've all heard of Naked Neighbor and his particular penchant for standing in his doorway, at least partially in the buff, shaving his face.  He seems to shave rather frequently, so whenever I come home and he's in the doorway I make sure to say "hello" while maintaining constant eye contact, because while I am absolutely certain that Naked Neighbor is shirtless, I don't want to be verify the rest of his wardrobe.  This happens at least two or three times a week.  I figure it adds some measure of weirdly terrible excitement to what could easily become mundane.

When I am home on the weekends, I leave my front door open.  There's no screen, but the bugs don't really seem to come in (I am attributing this to altitude and windiness).  It brings me a deep sense of satisfaction and calm to be sitting at my kitchen table studying and to look up at the ocean.  There is no real downside to leaving the door open except for how loud everything is.  People drive by with their car stereos blaring and my neighbors shout back and forth to each other, but it's never too TOO loud.  A couple of weekends ago, there I was studying away when I heard the most magical Spanish guitar music coming from one of my neighbors' houses.  I listened for a while, and then popped my head out to tell whoever it was how much I was enjoying it.  IT WAS NAKED NEIGHBOR, sitting in his doorway, shirtless, playing this awesome music.  Needless to say, I popped back in real quickly and managed to not look at where the guitar was.

Weeks go by,  and I try to avoid Naked Neighbor as much as possible.  Yesterday I am walking through the village, trying to hitch a ride, and there is Naked Neighbor, sitting in a bar (fully clothed) and playing his awesome Spanish guitar music.  He sees me, and starts shouting that I should join him and his very drunk friends.  I politely decline and continue on my way, all the while shrieking in my head HOW DID MY LIFE GET TO THE POINT WHERE I KNOW THE WEIRD-ECCENTRIC-NAKED MUSICIANS????

This brings us to today.  Today is a Sunday- this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and WEAR PANTS, I mean, BE GLAD, no wait, I MEAN BE GLAD AND WEAR PANTS.  Because when I came home today, Naked Neighbor was sitting in his doorway, making that melodious music, wearing nothing but a sunshine yellow bath towel.

WHY DID I NOT MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT?  

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