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On Being an Intern

It's been my experience, over the past year, that no one really has any idea what interns do.* Our patients are pretty sure we're nurses or transporters or nutritionists.  The nurses are pretty sure we're medical students.  I'm even pretty sure that when I started out a I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

The other day I saw an article on medical site about what interns do and what you need to know to be an intern, and well, it was crap.  It was fluffy and not honest and disingenuous. And y'all know how I feel about the importance of being genuine.  So in the spirit of honesty and genuineness, here goes.



Dear Soon-to-be Interns,

You're suddenly going to be speaking from a position of authority.  People trust you.  People are vulnerable in your care. Don't abuse that trust.  Don't crush that vulnerability. Don't be a rascal.  Be calm.  Be patient. Make sure you're being clear.  Follow up when you say you will.  Follow through because you kno…

Residency Life Moments

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(Lady) Residency Life Moment #3: the multiple times a day I have to resist shouting "It's 'DOCTOR' not 'Miss'"



Residency Life Moment #9: When you realize that you've been shouting at Uworld loud enough for the neighbor to hear... Wonder what he thinks "WE GOTTA DASH THIS GUY" means?



Residency Life Moment #10: When your nurse friends stall the pet therapy lady so you can get in some pet therapy too #pettherapy
#dogday
#residencylife



Residency Life Moment #11: I'm not tired! I should exercise! Exercise is important! .... Then I promptly fall UP stairs. #nottired #residencymoments


Residency Life Moment #19: Every time you put on a clean white coat it's just asking the universe to throw something at you.
Literally.
Today it was cranberry juice, which makes a surprisingly good projectile



Residency Life Moment #24: Me: It's been a long day Attending: It's a long career


Residency Life Moment #29: Patient: How old are you?
Me: Old enough to be y…

you can't see yourself

You can't see yourself.

Case in point: My Mama thinks she is quiet and shy.


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Now that those of you who know my Mama have stopped laughing we can get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Because, if my Mama, of all people, thinks she is both quiet and shy, then all bets are off in regards to the rest of us in how well our self-perceptions align with reality (aka: how the rest of the world sees us).

But the thing is, my Mama really does think she's quiet and shy.  She's adamant about it.  She's insistent.  She doesn't see that she's a bad--- who can talk to anyone and has never let fear stop her from doing something she wanted to do, ever.

Up until pretty recently, I'd have said that I was pretty in tune with how I come across.

I would have been wrong.

Because, repeat it with me, you can't see yourself.

I just hadn't had my own personal "quiet and shy" moment yet.



The other day a fellow resident mentioned to me after round…

Doubt

"One thought of doubt in your mind is the devil."
        -Rinzai



When I was itty-bitty, probably 7-ish, I took a test to get into Gifted Classes.  Looking back now, I can tell you it was an IQ test, but at the time all I knew was that my best friend got to leave our regular class one day a week to go to this reallyreallycool  class where they built things and ate things and blew things up and boy did I want to join her, and to join her I had to take this test and do well.

From what I remember, tests in general didn't have a ton of consequences as a kid.  Either you got it or you didn't and if you didn't someone would help you figure it out.

But for this particular test, I understood the stakes.  I really really wanted to get out of regular class.  

The exam was administered by some Random Lady I only have a vague recollection of, but I'm pretty sure it happened in the guidance counselor's office.  I remember Random Lady asking me questions and giving me puzzl…

More Texts From Mama

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I know, I know, it's been too long and I've been depriving y'all of the joy that is my Mama....


But this stuff is comedic gold, so here you go.


Things I have lost

My new-found ability to misplace things runs contrary to my continual protestations of not being too tired nor too stressed. 


Things I have lost*

1. A water bottle and a reusable coffee cup
-I can only hope that someone, somewhere is reusing them


2. My car in the parking garage
-This only happened once, but that one time I had to check multiple locations before I found it


3. My watch, which was a college graduation present from my parents
-This was literally ATTACHED TO MY WRIST....  How is this even possible?


4. Time, all the time
-I'll think it's 2PM all afternoon 


5. Three (yes, I really do mean THREE) pairs of sunglasses
-I managed to lose my favorite pair, backup pair, and the backup-to-the-backup all within about 2 weeks


6. The Christmas sweater I bought just to wear on Christmas in the hospital to spread joy and cheer
-This is the only one of these that I've actually found, but of course, I FOUND IT AFTER CHRISTMAS which does not bring anyone joy or cheer


7. One earpiece …

Year's End - 2017 in Review

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Y'll know I don't post a ton of photos here, but that's mostly because I'm lazy, not because I don't actually take photos. 


So here's 2017 in review, in photos.  Enjoy.